A Clothing Conversation I Wish We Would Have Had Earlier

If you have a Facebook, you have probably seen this article. With all of the commotion it has caused, I would like to take the opportunity to talk about modesty. This post is written for the young women and women out there, but men please feel free to chime in as well. 

Girls, why are clothes so much work? For a moment can we remember all the time we have spent staring at a closet full of clothes thinking, “I have nothing to wear.” You and I both know that statement is ridiculous, but we truly feel that way in the moment. We will try on three different tops before giving up and settling on what we have on. It took us ten minutes longer than we were hoping to get dressed, but it’s just the way it is.

The days we are feeling really ahead, we start piecing together our outfit while still in the shower. Hoping by the time we have to actually put the outfit on our body we will get it right the first time. (Which never really happens, right?)

Why is it so hard to get dressed? My husband can walk to the closet, grab pants and a shirt and be happy. Then there’s me, gazing into my closet as if something amazing is going to happen for a solid five minutes before I touch anything. We obviously care what we look like, but I don’t think retailers disclose everything that comes along with the article of clothing they are selling. Of course they want us to wear their product everywhere, but are they looking out for us or for themselves?

Have you noticed the new trends over the last couple of years? Yoga pants, leggings, and those crop top shirts (you know the ones that show off your toned tummy). A little more revealing than the past couple trends for sure (remember the over-sized sweaters?). They are cute, and they are flattering, and they are easy to put on and feel confident about. Especially if you have been working hard to achieve a healthy body, you might want to flaunt your hard work. When you look in the mirror, you see something you like. So did I! I wore yoga pants and leggings for years before marrying my husband. I worked out and it was easy to just wear the same workout clothes as regular clothes throughout the day. They are much more pleasing than sweatpants, am I right?

After marrying my husband, I began to notice men more. Why? Because my husband would be calling them out in the store as we’d walk by. Men I didn’t even really notice until after the words, “Hey man, what are you looking at?” would fly out of my husband’s mouth. I certainly love sharing my body with my husband, but men at the grocery store? No thank you. 

He hate’s to see men, as he says, “undressing me with their eyes”–and I don’t blame him! I don’t like it either!

My girlfriends would all tell you the same. When we walk by men, say at the store, we don’t really see them. As teenagers we might have hoped a young man would see us, but we would never let them know we saw them. We hoped they thought we looked beautiful, but that would be the end of the encounter–mostly left in our head.

I hate saying this, girls, but not all men are going to respect us. It’s not our fault, but we do need to stop pretending that we are going to get the respect we deserve as women in a world filled with lust. There are so many great men out there, like my husband, who will do their best to look away from a beautiful figure and to give the respect that woman deserves. But we need to acknowledge there are areas we can control, to some measure, the way we are admired.

Our clothing is not the problem at it’s core, but we can lessen the problem with our clothing.

My friends, we deserve to be treated with respect. Respect that leggings and yoga pants might be taking away from us without our knowledge.

Don’t think for a second, that in order to be attractive you must wear form fitting clothes. Especially if the man respects you he will be attracted to you for you. Not the tight black pants that reveal the exact shape of your booty. Out of all the days I wore yoga pants in college, the day I met my future husband I was wearing a baggy shirt and soccer shorts. Who would have thought? He thought I was beautiful anyway, and continues to prove his love for me by demanding respect from other men as well.

Do I still enjoy yoga pants? Oh you bet! I wear them almost anytime I am home. However, I make sure if I have leggings on as pants when I leave the house, there is a dress covering anything revealing. It’s a win-win.

When I leave the house I feel covered with respect, and I want you to be covered in respect too. So I would say taking ten extra minutes to gaze into our closets making sure we are also dressing our bodies with respect is well worth it. Do you think so?