How Do We Get Back To Before?

My daughter. When she’s having fun, she laughs. When she gets hurt, she cries. When she needs a hug, she finds one. When she’s hungry, she eats. When she’s tired, she sleeps. She’s one and she is more in tune with herself than I am. 

When I see her, I hope I can keep her in this moment. In this state. The world hasn’t disappointed her yet. No boy has broken her heart. She has never been lied to. She’s never felt outcast. She’s never been alone. 

As we grow up, life hurts us. It changes us. It hardens us. If there was only a way to get back to before. 

Before we were hurt. Before we felt alone. Before we couldn’t find a hug. Before we were lied to. Before we were laughed at. Before we lost a friend. Before they said that. Before they did that. Before.

How beautiful that person is. The one who isn’t afraid to show their feelings. The one who doesn’t hide anything. I’d like to think that person is still inside us. Still longing to be the one who is seen and heard. Yet, we push this person down, down, down, and try to ignore the shouts they make until it only sounds like a whisper. A whisper that we easily drown out with the noise of other things. The noise of life. 

Through every hurt, we put up another layer, another wall. We think to ourselves, “I’m not letting that happen again.” But the truth is, we are much more beautiful when the walls are down. When we are back to before. We can learn. We understand. We feel. 

Truth is, life is going to hurt us again. So instead of trying to stop it from happening and loosing a part of ourself, let’s take it head on. Let’s live in the hope of a world filled with joy, and when disappointment comes it will not make us hide. Lets feel. Lets heal. Because the world is a much more beautiful place when the stage lights are off and everyone takes off their costumes. 

Life’s journey should not be about changing who you are. It should be about finding a way to get back to before. My friends, with every hurt, can we fight the urge to hide? I will fight for you and I hope you will fight for me. Just like I will fight for my daughter to stay the beautiful girl she is. My hope for her is to always feel. To dance and be joyful, but also to cry. To always be fearless and never to question her worth. Oh what a beautiful world we live in!